How to Stop Overthinking at Night

A Counsellor's Guide to Calming Your Mind

You finally get into bed, turn off the lights and your mind switches on.  Thoughts start racing - replaying conversations, worrying about tomorrow, or listing everything you should have done differently. Sound familiar?

As a counsellor I often hear clients say that night time is when their mind feels the loudest. The quiet of the evening without distractions can make worries echo even more. The good news is that with some awareness and simple grounding practises, it is possible to calm your mind and rest easier.

Why we overthink at night

When we finally stop “doing”, our brain shifts into processing mode. During the day we’re busy managing work, relationships, and responsibilities. At night, there’s space - and the mind often fills that space with unfinished thoughts, fears, or “what ifs”.

For many people, over-thinking is a form of control  -  the brain's way of trying to prevent mistakes or prepare for uncertainty. It's not a flaw; it's a coping mechanism that's just showing up at the wrong time.

Common nighttime thoughts include:

• Replaying past conversations or decisions (“Why did I say that?”)

• Predicting future problems (“What if tomorrow goes badly?”)

• Catastrophizing (“What if something happens to my family?”)

• Self-criticism (“I should be doing better at this.”)

Step 1: Notice Without Judgement

Instead of trying to force the thoughts away, start by noticing them. Overthinking often grows stronger when we resist it.

Try saying to yourself: “My mind is busy right now – that’s ok. I’m noticing the part of me that’s trying to keep me safe.”

By naming what's happening, you move from being in your thoughts to observing them. That small shift gives you more choice in how to respond.

Step 2: Come Back to the Body

Overthinking lives in the head. To calm it, we need to bring attention back into the body, Here are a few simple techniques you can try tonight:

• 4-7-8 Breathing: inhale for 4 counts, hold for 7, exhale slowly for 8. Repeat 3-4 times.

• Progressive muscle relaxation: gently tense and release your muscles from toes to head.

• Grounding through touch: place one hand on your chest and one on your stomach. Feel the rise and fall of your breath.

Physical grounding sends a signal to your nervous system: “I'm safe enough to rest.”

Step 3: Give Your Thoughts Somewhere to Go

If your mind feels full, try externalising the thoughts instead of cycling them internally.

• Keep a journal by your bed. Write down the thoughts as they come, without editing

• Use a “worry list”: note your concerns and add a small reminder -  I'll revisit this tomorrow when I'm rested 

Often the brain relaxes once it knows you've captured what matters.

Step 4: Create a Nighttime Routine That Signals “Slow Down”

Our bodies love predictability. A consistent bedtime ritual tells your nervous system that it's time to unwind. Try including:

• Soft lighting or candles

• Gentle stretching or yoga

• Reading something calming (not screens)

• A few minutes of gratitude journaling

Even 10 minutes of intentional winding-down can shift you from “thinking” mode to “rest” mode.

Step 5: Soften the Inner Critic

Many people who overthink at night aren't just worrying – they’re self-evaluating. Thoughts like “Why can't I switch off?” or “Everyone else seems fine” only fuel anxiety.

Instead, try responding with compassion:

“I'm doing my best. It's understandable that my mind is busy - I've had a full day.”

Self-kindness doesn't make the thoughts disappear instantly, but it lowers emotional intensity, allowing rest to follow more naturally.

Step 6: Practice in the Daytime Too

Calming your mind at night starts with how you care for it during the day.

Schedule micro-pauses - 2 minutes of breathing or stepping outside between tasks.

Limit caffeine and screen time close to bedtime.

Make space for emotional processing – therapy, journaling, or talking to a friend - before nightfall.

When your brain learns it has time to process feelings earlier, it's less likely to keep you awake

Final Thoughts

Overthinking at night is a common human experience - not a personal failure. It's often your mind's way of saying, “I have things I need to process”. By meeting those thoughts with awareness, grounding, and gentle self-care, you can create a calmer relationship with your inner world.

If you find that overthinking regularly affects your sleep or well-being, counselling can help you explore the deeper patterns underneath and develop tools tailored to your needs.