Are you a people pleaser?

How counselling can help you have healthy boundaries

Do you often say yes when you really want to say no and do you find yourself constantly seeking approval from others even at the expense of your own needs and well-being? If this sounds like you, you might be a people pleaser and you won't be alone.

Many people struggle with people pleasing behaviours. These behaviours are often rooted in early life experiences, low self esteem or a desire to avoid conflict. While being kind and helpful is admirable, people pleasing can lead to burnout, resentment, anxiety and a loss of identity. If you live in Cheshire and looking for support, Counselling with Jean can offer a safe space to explore and overcome these patterns.

What is people pleasing?

People pleasing is a tendency to put others’ needs ahead of your own in an effort to be liked, accepted, or to avoid disapproval. This can manifest in many ways such as:

-        always agreeing with others even when you disagree internally

-        struggling to set or maintain healthy boundaries

-        avoiding conflict at all costs

-        feeling responsible for other people's emotions

-        constantly seeking validation and reassurance

-        feeling guilty when prioritising your own needs

These behaviours might seem minor at first but over time they can erode your self worth and leave you feeling disconnected from your true self.

Where does people pleasing come from?

Understanding the root of your people pleasing tendencies is the first step towards change. In many cases these patterns developed in childhood. If you grew up in an environment where love and approval was conditional, that is based on your behaviour, achievements or compliance, you may have learned to prioritise others’ needs in order to feel safe or valued. Trauma, neglect, or emotional invalidation can also contribute to people pleasing behaviours. Later in life you might feel rejection or abandonment and overcompensate by trying to keep everyone happy.

if you're looking to explore these deeper emotional patterns Counselling with Jean offers a conditional confidential and compassionate setting to do just that .

The cost of always saying yes

While people pleasing may seem harmless on the surface, it often comes with a heavy emotional toll such as burnout, resentment, loss of identity, and anxiety and depression. Many clients who seek counselling report these very issues are often unaware that their people pleasing behaviours are a key contributing factor.

How can counselling help

The good news is that change is possible! Through therapy you can:

• Identify the root causes: therapy can help you trace your people planned policing tendencies back to their origins understanding why you develop these behaviours is essential to breaking the cycle.

• Learn to set healthy boundaries: counselling can teach you how to say no without guilt and how to communicate your needs in an assertive and non aggressive way.

• Build self worth: therapy focuses in helping you validate yourself rather than seeking approval from others. As your self-worth grows the need to please others diminishes.

• Practise new behaviour patterns: in a supportive counselling relationship you can experiment with new ways of relating to others, receive feedback, and develop more authentic connections.

You don't have to continue living with the stress and emotional exhaustion of trying to keep everyone happy. With the right support you can begin to put yourself first - not out of selfishness, but out of self respect.

Being a people pleaser may have helped you cope at one point in your life but it doesn't have to define your future. If you're ready to stop living for others and start living authentically counselling can provide the tools and guidance that you need.

Contact Counselling with Jean to start healing and start saying yes to yourself. Click here to fill in the contact form.